Church Camp + Aftermath

The past week has been encounter after encounter with the living God, being baptised in His fire, His Holy Spirit, and in love. So much words were released. On several occasions, I see the throne room of God wide open in front of me, as if God is inviting me in. Experiencing His delight in me also made me realise He likes me as well, without me having to do a thing! 

Today, at Generations service, as Will Hart was speaking, I felt the Holy Spirit on me already. Towards the end of his preaching, I felt so overwhelmed with power, I screamed my lungs out at its maximum capacity, surprising myself with the volume of the screams. My hands went completely numb with power, in an extent I haven’t felt in a long, long while. This could have been one of the most powerful manifestation I’ve experienced to date. 

I have no idea why I’m feeling so much, but I just want more. I’m hungry for more of His power and love. I want to see God face to face, knowing His heart and knowing His ways.

New Beginnings

This Ressurrection weekend (aka Easter) is like God giving many of us a new beginning indeed. A friend who broke up with his 2-year gf and his grandma died in the same week, is struggling through the break up now but I believe it is the right decision and he will come back stronger. Today just got news from a friend who confessed to another friend last night and it was mutual. And then my tenant of 3.5years suddenly moved out yesterday when they got notice that their new home was ready. 

These few incidents made me realise this act of Jesus dying on the cross and rising from the dead is giving many a new beginning indeed. More than just saving us, he is giving many of us a second chance and a new start to a new season or phase in life. It’s not just a symbolic event that christians celebrate, but a real life event that happened about 2000years ago and still applies for today. 

Also, just yesterday, an idea birthed in me during cell worship yesterday to carry out a photog project in my neighbourhood (particularly my block). It is a crazy one, for someone without such experience, but it is something I hope to be able to carry out and complete this summer. Expecting many roadblocks along the way, but if this is really something God placed in me, I will have success.

I’m excited for the days ahead. Thank You Jesus

Cost and duty as an anointed servant

“Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu put coals of fire in their incense burners and sprinkled incense over them. In this way, they disobeyed the LORD by burning before him the wrong kind of fire, different than he had commanded. So fire blazed forth from the LORD’s presence and burned them up, and they died there before the LORD. Then Moses said to Aaron, “This is what the LORD meant when he said, ‘I will display my holiness through those who come near me. I will display my glory before all the people.’” And Aaron was silent. Then Moses called for Mishael and Elzaphan, Aaron’s cousins, the sons of Aaron’s uncle Uzziel. He said to them, “Come forward and carry away the bodies of your relatives from in front of the sanctuary to a place outside the camp.” So they came forward and picked them up by their garments and carried them out of the camp, just as Moses had commanded. Then Moses said to Aaron and his sons Eleazar and Ithamar, “Do not show grief by leaving your hair uncombed or by tearing your clothes. If you do, you will die, and the LORD’s anger will strike the whole community of Israel. However, the rest of the Israelites, your relatives, may mourn because of the LORD’s fiery destruction of Nadab and Abihu. But you must not leave the entrance of the Tabernacle or you will die, for you have been anointed with the LORD’s anointing oil.” So they did as Moses commanded.”‭‭Leviticus‬ ‭10:1-7‬ ‭NLT 

Two of Aaron’s sons died because they disregarded the Lord by burning before Him the wrong kind of fire He commanded. Aaron and his two other sons were really grieved. However, they’re not allowed to show their grief the way Israelites used to do: leaving their hair uncombed and tearing their clothes. The Israelites may do it, opening mourning for the loss, but Aaron and his two sons are to continue their priestly duties before the Lord because they are anointed for duty. They are to remain at the entrance of the Tabernacle and carry on with what they are called to do.

This reminds me that when God calls and anoints us, there is a responsibility to bear. Some things that used to be permissible are no longer, even if they aren’t something wrong to do. Showing grief is normal and expected, but because they are serving, they have to maintain their composure and remain faithful to do their duties, even if it hurts much. There is no excuse to put aside our responsibilities to serve, especially when we are anointed for it. 

I’m guilty of this. So many times. When i was the leader, when i was called to do some things, instead of pressing through, ‘put on a front’ and continue serving faithfully, i repeatedly avoided my responsibilities or not giving the best i can whenever i feel overwhelmed. I thought doing this is being fake, not showing my authentic self, but I was so wrong. I wish i knew this earlier. I wish I knew taking responsibility is not about how I feel but what is my duty regardless of my feelings. I wish someone taught me that being real and authentic is not about showing how you feel all the time but rather showing it at the right time to the right people, and that putting yourself out there to show your best self is also you being real.

Pain of servant leadership is real, but the end of it is especially rewarding.

Love and Fear-based

So many of our motivations are driven by fear. 

I’m noticing many many people, Christians and non-christians alike, living life and making plans out of fear instead of love. It’s evident in many nations, and Singapore is no exception. Different nations respond differently, but ultimately much of our actions and decisions are fear-based.

If we were to give fear the colour “black” and love the colour “white”, how “white” will our life be? How much of our thought processes and decisions be “white” instead of “black”?

Poem: “The Chaos”
Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.

So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,

And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,

We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.

Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate;

Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,

Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)

Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won’t it make you lose your wits,

Writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!!!