25 march 2017 342pmI was asking God if i should go for exchange, cause i wanna have that experience of living and travelling overseas. So i felt a “no”, that He wants me to stay in Singapore, and that I will have much more better opportunities to travel in future.
Sitting in the loo this morning thinking that all the things i currently wish for are just pipe dreams.
Yet it doesn’t stop me from thinking: I wanna treat men like princes/kings and women like princesses/queens.
Think I finally understand what people mean “when giving your best is not enough”. Totally feeling that right now. No, i dont mean it in an emo way, just fact checks prove it to be true. I know I’ve been trying my best so I don’t regret anything. It’s just that it feels sad(?) that I’m unable to do it as well as some who can pull it off so effortlessly? 🤕
Back in my Poly days, my pipe dream was to be a very proficient public speaker. That was a pipe dream, and it still is right now, except that it is more believable than when I first dreamt of it. I was not even able to articulate my speech well in small group gatherings. Now I’m better able to convey the message on my heart/mind, but am still far from reaching that goal.
Today, I’m back to dreaming again, dreaming in the shower. I dream of being able to create the most creative and relevant contents possible, contents that remain close to the hearts of men long after I’m no longer, contents that glorify God and resonate deeply within hearts: Films, photographs, music, songs, and poems that eventually become classic contents that live on for generations, impacting hearts one after another.
All these are just a pipe dream. I may not “make it”(or succeed) in this lifetime of mine, but I hope my works will reach millions after I’m gone, speaking louder than all the years of my life lived.
Ah yi, i hope you are safe. It’s already been 16 days? Please come back safely to us.
“Okay God, i just gotta trust you in this.
If you say so, I can’t say no.”
Random rhymes going on during random conversation with God