Running In Circles (12 Nov 2017)

Speaking about divine “coincidences”! I was just coming to a realisation that i have been running in circles for two years plus, only to realise in the end I’m back to the start, to the place of loving God instead of putting my own interests (which i found out weren’t really my desires) before Him.

I decided to write a song (my first song) on this, called “Running In Circles”.

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V:

I’m running in circles

I’m running in circles

Coming back to the start

Where you found me

I’ve been running in circles

I’ve been running in circles for two whole years

Till I found Your love

And I realise this is where I wanna be

I was running in circles

Trying many things

Thinking they were my desires

But I realised they don’t satisfy

So in the end I found

You’re the one I desire

Now I give up everything

So that You can have all of me

B:

All I want is You

All I’ll have is You

My one desire

All I want is You

My whole life for You

Everything is Yours

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Then i posted this on my private insta:

“Running In Circles. Felt like I’ve been running in circles for the past two years, only to find myself back at the start where His love is: the place I truly wanna be. Tried many things thinking they were my desires, but none satisfied. Still, no regrets in all of this because these experiences made me realise what I truly desire.”

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Then I decided to read my bible for the day and it started with Ecclesiastes 1:

““Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers and flows out again to the sea. Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content. History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. Sometimes people say, “Here is something new!” But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new. We don’t remember what happened in the past, and in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭1:2-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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What I wanna say is, look at the repeated theme on “going in circles”!

Life indeed is us running in circles. It may seem like we are getting nowhere, but maybe in God’s eyes, we are running in an upward spiral — like the design of a spring. It may be a continuous cycle, but one that’s ever moving upwards.

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When your best is not enough

Think I finally understand what people mean “when giving your best is not enough”. Totally feeling that right now. No, i dont mean it in an emo way, just fact checks prove it to be true. I know I’ve been trying my best so I don’t regret anything. It’s just that it feels sad(?) that I’m unable to do it as well as some who can pull it off so effortlessly? 🤕

Pipe Dreams

Back in my Poly days, my pipe dream was to be a very proficient public speaker. That was a pipe dream, and it still is right now, except that it is more believable than when I first dreamt of it. I was not even able to articulate my speech well in small group gatherings. Now I’m better able to convey the message on my heart/mind, but am still far from reaching that goal.

Today, I’m back to dreaming again, dreaming in the shower. I dream of being able to create the most creative and relevant contents possible, contents that remain close to the hearts of men long after I’m no longer, contents that glorify God and resonate deeply within hearts: Films, photographs, music, songs, and poems that eventually become classic contents that live on for generations, impacting hearts one after another.

All these are just a pipe dream. I may not “make it”(or succeed) in this lifetime of mine, but I hope my works will reach millions after I’m gone, speaking louder than all the years of my life lived.