Can’t understand

I don’t understand why I’m struggling. I can’t understand why I struggle so much with social and emotional connection. It’s like I’m a 23yo with a 15~17yo emotional maturity. My social skills is also pretty bad, but what can I do to improve? Why is there so much fear and struggle in me to contact & connect? I feel like I’m torn between loving ppl and fearing ppl.

I cannot understand why I didn’t grow up like a normal kid, feeling and learning the things most would in their teens. This lack of experience and growth is haunting me more and more as i age. The only way is to face these fears and work it out, but I’m at a loss of what to do, who to turn to for help, how to articulate my struggles accurately.

All I can do right now is to praise God for who He is, read His words, declare them, and find rest for my soul.

Whether or not I’m getting out of this struggle in this lifetime, I’m unsure. I only know that God can make all things work together for His good and my good…


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