When i tried to remember my childhood, what i did when i was young, nothing much came to mind. It was as good as i did not have any childhood.
However, i as i start to reconnect with some of my childhood activities, the things i feel so shameful about now, i realised i actually do have a childhood. May not be as accomplished as many others, but i do have one.
Rubik’s cube is an example. They took up the bulk of my lower secondary school life. I was ashamed of it, so i discounted them. Only yesterday during my short chat with Matthew, that i came to know that i have been suppressing my past because of the shame i get from it. It all happened when i casually asked him why didn’t he want to sell away his shelf-full of comic books. He said, “they are a part of my childhood. Looking at them reminds me and others of my childhood.”
Only then, that i start to embrace my geeky self in the past and not be ashamed of it. It’s alright to be nerdy, geekish, introverted, reserved. Nothing wrong with them. I like me growing up, and i like the person i am now.
Right, i may be behind many people my age or younger in terms of social skills & awareness, of abilities and soft skills. I may not have the talents that they have nurtured while growing up. I have nothing much to offer in comparison to they all. Doesn’t matter. As long as i’m moving on, as long as i’m no longer stagnating, that’s what matters.
For those who are like me, who start out late, i just wanna assure you (if anybody’s reading this), it’s alright. Regardless of what your family background is, however dark or painful your past was, all these doesn’t matter. What matters now is you move on, try something that excites your heart (regardless of your age), chase after what you always wanted but thought you couldn’t do.
You’re lagging behind others? Not a problem. That’s not for you to bother about. Chase those dreams, get better at it. Do what you love, and you’ll be a happier person.
Afterall, “we only regret the chances we didn’t take”.
So “take courage, dear heart”, and start chasing your dreams.