Wow, the power of forgiveness.
For a long while i have been feeling unhappy inside, but i don’t know why. It’s as if my default mode is sadness. These feelings would often appear when I sit myself down to study, or when I’m just daydreaming, or even while reading the bible. It was such a distraction, about 60%(or more) of my study time was eaten up by these feelings accompanied with unhealthy thoughts. I would find myself feeling sad and thinking why am i in this state while so many others my age or younger are far better off in life.
It occured to me, while i was reading the bible, that i had unknowingly been bearing grudges against my leaders & parents for their mistakes and lack of guidance. (I wasnt concentrating on reading the word cause I was so distracted by these feelings, but hey God still speaks when I’m in that state.)
I realised I haven’t forgiven them and blamed them for my lack.
Genuine forgiveness starts with saying it out. So i did, under my breath, I confessed and forgave them. What do you know, shortly after, the bad feelings I had were gone!
So that was it. Found out what caused the sadness within me for so long!
I would say God is still good. I may not be the best, and may not even be average, but it is how I carry on from here that matters. Too unique to compare myself with others 😁