I realised as I feel negative emotions kick in, negative thoughts follow after. They eventually affect one’s response, which influence one’s behaviour and ability to perform.
I’ve been pretty distracted by these thoughts over the past semester, even until now, ever since school started. Maybe I had this all along, just that I haven’t realised it until I started taking notice of my thoughts.
Hope I can get to find out my own thought patterns soon and find the trigger or root cause, and then with discipline, practice the solution.
This is keeping me from doing my bible reading and quiet time with God, and it is keeping me away from God. It has also been affecting my ability to focus when I study throughout the past semester, and also not being able to accomplish some tasks that I set out to do.
There is just these thoughts of inadequacy that makes me feel like giving up after trying only awhile, or at times give up without trying even. It goes as far as affecting my social life and ministry life. If this keeps going on, I’m sure it will also affect my work life, and eventually my spouse and my kids.
I can’t let this go on forever, so I need to deal with it.
Now a bigger challenge is, how do I get myself to constantly face it until I overcome it? Who can I seek help from who knows or have been through such a thing?
It seems pretty uncommon to me. I have yet to find a fatherly or motherly figure who is patient enough and encouraging enough to help me through this.
I don’t doubt the fact that I can do it myself. But tell me about it, how much harder it is and the odds of overcoming it alone. I don’t think many people have been able to overcome on their own. They can overcome because somewhere down the road, they had someone who truly believed in them and managed to communicate it with assurance.
Help me God, even though right now I feel I don’t deserve You giving this someone to me.