Why this Course?

Before graduating from, I applied for Chemical & Biomolecular Engineering(CBE) at NTU. With a cgpa of 3.63 at that point of time(5-semester grade), i managed to get in. At that time, I thought i’d just apply and get a spot first. If i want to change course, i can do it during NS.

So as I was approching the end of my NS phase, I thought if I should change to Chemistry & Biological Chemistry(CBC) in NTU. I thought hard, weighed the factors and what I thought it would be like with my limited understanding. In the end, I decided to apply for CBC.

For CBC, I have to go through the usual 4 years course, while for CBE I could have went to direct year 2 and exempted certain modules.

One reason I chose CBC was partially because I wanted to avoid the competitiveness & higher level of stress in CBE (which I think is naive of me to think that way, afterall each course have their own level of difficulty).
Another reason was because I felt I was called to impact my University. So in choosing that, I have more time to do something here. However, now I wonder if that was a wise choice to make.

Many would say that it’s dumb for me to choose this and prolong my “suffering”.
I begged to differ, but now I think they may be right.

I wanted to impact this school. I wanted to do something here that can change people’s lives. I wanted to preach the gospel and heal the sick, do all these sort of things. But now that I’m here, I’m not doing them much. In fact, it’s so little, I can count it with one hand. I avoided praying for people a few times for fear of causing traffic congestion, of rejection, and such. If I’m not doing much, why did i choose a 4 year course over a 3 year course? Why that choice?

Although I am still in the 1st semester (approaching the end, finals in 3 days!), I don’t see myself making an impact here. I am not equipped well to preach the gospel. I don’t even know how to properly convey the Good News! I have not seen any healings through the people I prayed for in my life, at least not in a significant way.  I really wonder if I am making the impact I am supposed to be. Did I do the right thing to choose CBC? Or does it even matter?

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