Missed Blessings

Time and time again I keep missing out on the blessings God has for me because either I’m too quick to respond or I just didn’ take the step of faith to receive that blessing.

So often I tell myself not to miss out on what God says, and listen to what He says. However, when He speaks, I would doubt whether is it Him, or is it just my own voice. And sometimes I don’t hear an instruction clear enough, so I thought I should just go ahead with it since I felt this is the right day. Apparently, I got the day right but the timing wrong, and I missed out on the blessing or opportunity because I didn’t wait long enough. Other times, when I felt Him speaking (or maybe it is just me speaking), I would either just give it up without wrestling with that thought or I would not be able to carry out what I felt led to do out of fear.

Sometimes it is when I feel led to go up to this certain person. I would hesitate, and 95% of the time i would not go up to the person, for fear of something that wouldn’t really happen anyway (but at that point the fear felt real).

Time and time again I miss it, either because I think too much into it (and hesitating), or I just totally ignore it.
Both response stems out from fear. I responded not because I felt led to, but because I feared people.

I want to get over with this. I want to face it and overcome. I don’t like this constant struggle with fear and lose out in the end because I shun from it. It’s time for me to put up a fight with it. I must not back down without a fight.

Lord, please help me draw courage from you to face these fears that seem so real to me. They are so tangible, but I know You are more real than they are. They may be there, but You are always bigger than them. So help me find faith and courage in You once again, and face my fears over and over again till I gain a stronghold over my own heart. Let Your love come in and let fear leave. You said that there is no fear in love, so I ask You, God, to fill me up with Your love, that I may not have lack anymore. That I won’t be afraid, but be courageous to stand up to what is right and respond to You when You call.

Xuan Cheng


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